The Beginning of the End

So much has happened since our last update!  The day after Christmas we headed out to Haiti to meet our two new sons for the first time!  Leading up to the trip we were a jumble of emotions- excited, nervous, sometimes terrified!  So many different scenarios raced through our heads, as we constantly tried to keep ourselves in a place of having 0 expectations (although, honestly, I am not sure I was ever in that spot).  It is a very strange encounter- putting 4 strangers together and expecting to instantly interact as family.  I knew the boys might be shy, nervous, apprehensive, maybe even scared to death of us.  But as we got out of the car after our wild ride from the airport to the guesthouse where we would be staying, and as I got my first glimpse of two little boys sitting by the pool passing the time while they waited to meet their new parents, I KNEW deep inside that everything would be fine.  They came over and shook our hands, smiled shyly, and from that moment until the moment we left, they were our constant shadows.  Opposites in every way, one is shy and a deep thinker.  He is filled with questions that he would work up the courage to ask us on occasion.  He was affectionate and creative.  We spent a lot of time coloring, talking, and brushing my hair!  The other is filled with spunk and energy, while at the same time having a wisdom far beyond his 7 years. He faces the world head on- we called him our little bulldog.  For 5 days they were ours.  They roomed with us, ate with us, played with us, questioned us.  We showed them pictures of their new home, their new family, cars (upon their request!).  They told us heartbreaking stories of their only encounters with white "blan" people, which were unfortunately stories of violence.  They told us stories of dogs killing children, but also told us about playing with their friends in their neighborhood, and going to school.  They told us about their life, living in a little one room house where they all sleep on a mat on the floor together and have to carry water on their heads from the town water source to their big metal tub, so they can take a bath every day.  They told us about the death of their mother.  I felt for those 5 days that they were completely, 100 percent, my sons, and I was their mother.  And now we have left our sons behind in a third world country, where we cannot give them a bed to sleep in, or clean drinking water.  I know they are loved where they are, while they wait for us.  I know when they come home it will be a hard transition.  This place will be sensory overload for them and I know they will miss their dad terribly.  But I think they are ready.  They were laid back and comfortable with us.  They seemed to trust us.  I know their little bodies are ready for relief from malnutrition.  And we are so ready to have them here with us.  While we are apart we pray for them every day, and call often.  When we call they run through the English phrases they learned from us.  "How are you?  Thank you very much.  I love you.  Motorcycle, truck, monkey, bear."  Words and phrases that would make no sense strung together to most, but are precious memories to us, and will serve a very special purpose, to bring the four of us back to memories of a place where we were together, memories that we can hold onto until we see each other again.  We are waiting on our referral, which our agency said could come through any day now.  I think of the referral as the beginning of the end.  It is the golden ticket to us being a family.  It's when we have documentation that both countries agree we can be a family- us and these specific kids.  Then everything that comes after that will help to make them legally our sons, and help to bring them home.  While we wait we are getting our house ready for them, the "nesting" period, in a new way.  We are shopping for furniture, and clothes and toys.  Looking for items appropriate for them- picking things we think they will like.  We are also still looking for grants and other fundraising.  We are so close now- about $8,000 away from our goal.  I would like to believe that a check will just appear in our mailbox one day, from a generous friend or stranger, or maybe from a grant.  More than likely it will come a little at a time, with one small fundraiser after the next, but I am getting so tired of asking for money, and asking for help.  However we get the rest of the money I know we will find it, some how, some way, and I know it will come on time, as it has since the start.  Thank you all for reading and for joining us on this incredible journey.  Remember us in prayer, as things have gotten so much harder since seeing first hand all that we are missing out on as we wait.  We look forward to a day, hopefully this year, when our family will be complete.