Just Some Current Thoughts...

I am sitting in my living room reflecting on this process at this moment.  Even though it is early, I anticipate that April will be a difficult month.  Wilson will be turning 7 this month.  There is a very strange, sad feeling about missing the birthday of our son whom we have never met.  I feel like he is growing up and we are missing out.  We will also be transitioning from the phase of paperwork, into the phase of waiting this month.  We are only one step away from submitting all of our paperwork to Haiti, and then we wait.  Maybe for a year or more.  It is exciting to be one step closer, but the paperwork was also keeping me busy, and helping me to feel like I was doing something.  Working hard to bring them home.  We just received a message from their father that Yvenson is not in school at the moment, due to not having the money for school fees and books.  Both boys have pink eye.  News like this makes the wait even harder.  If they were here we could take them to the doctor.  The last time we heard from them they were also sick.  Malnutrition must be taking its toll on their little bodies. If they were here there would be no interruptions in their education.  They could go to school every day and learn things they should have learned a long time ago.  Lately I have had more time to dwell on the obstacles.  Fundraising is hard.  We do it constantly and hardly make any money.  Our friends have contributed, and strangers who don't know us have no reason to give us money.  We are still $25,000 short.  Soon our documents will be in the hands of the Haitian government.  We will have to pray and trust that those documents will be processed and approved in a timely manner.  We will have no control over that.  Sometimes it feels like we are chasing an impossible dream, gambling everything we have for something that may never happen.  But then I think about their two little faces, and I think about them sick and hungry and I know they are counting on us to come through for their very survival.  And I know that my God is so much bigger than all of the obstacles.  I know that all of you are out there praying for us.  And we thank you so much for that.  We need your prayers, our family needs your prayers, and Wilson and Yvenson need your prayers.  We have such a long journey ahead with no end in sight.  I can't even let myself imagine an end at this point, but I know we'll get there.  My prayer is that we'll be able to celebrate Wilson's 8th birthday and every one after that, with him in our home and in our family.