Living in Limbo
Right now we feel stuck in a very strange in between. Our paperwork has entered IBESR in Haiti and we have been given an actual timeline by our agency (3-6 months until referral, then bonding trip- yay!! can't wait for that trip!- then another 2-4 months to exit IBESR, then maybe 6-9 months finalizing paperwork in court and then we can bring Wilson and Yvenson home!!) The adoption has been sort of an abstract idea in our minds all this time and things are finally getting real. While I can't wait for the day that they are home with us and this whole process is behind us, I also have a lot of mixed emotions over what the next year holds for us. As always, the stress of coming up with the finances is huge and looming always. Part of my heart is also mourning for the boys as I know they will mourn, at least to some extent, when they get here. While life is so hard for them in Haiti, it is their home. They will be leaving behind the only place they have ever known, their friends and family. Leaving one life to start a new life. While I know this will literally be a life saving change for them, and as we talk to them on the phone and hear their excited giggles, I know part of their heart is, or will some day, break over this loss. But I can't wait for our beginning with them. I can't wait to see what life here will do for them. Their little bodies will heal, they will make new friends, they will have opportunity not imaginable to them in Haiti. We will be their new family. And we will love them so SO much!
I have heard people say that adoption is not for the faint of heart. It is such an emotional process- I thought I was prepared for that but I don't think you can ever be prepared. There is no way to really explain fully what this is like. To feel attached to a child before you meet them- almost like a pregnancy but without the closeness that having a child living in your womb brings. These children are growing and struggling in another part of the world. It is hard to build a bond through poor phone connections and language barriers. I know there will be time for bonding in the future, but part of me wants them to know us and love us and think about us now as much as we love them and think about them.
Our phone calls to them are emotional. Most of the time we talk logistics with their father. What are their immediate needs, are they healthy, how is the paperwork going on their end? Bernadin, trying and sometimes failing to switch from Creole to English and back to Creole so we can all understand. We worry when they are sick- we problem solve when they are homeless or not in school- but then we hear them giggle- they are playing outside or laughing at our voices on the phone. And we are thankful that they have some joy and moments of normalcy despite their struggle.
Many ask us how they can help. Honestly, it means so much to have people praying for us and the boys through this process. Our other constant, immediate need, is financial. We are more than half way through fees. We have already spent about $23,000 and have about $6,000 left. We will need about $10,000 post referral and will need another $5,000 or so for court fees, travel papers, and traveling expenses. So many friends have given and we are so grateful. We are constantly selling stuff. But what we really need are donations. Realistically, I am not going to make $15,000 selling soap in the next 6-9 months. We also really need people to share our story. Do you know a person looking to give to a charity, or a person with a heart for Haiti or adoption who is in a position to give financially? We need our story to reach those people. Meanwhile, we are applying for grants, saving our pennies and doing everything we can to come up with the fees without begging for money. It is slow going but somehow we have come up with about $28,000. I know we will get that extra $15,000. The best way to donate is either through gofundme or paypal.
GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/twoheartsinhaiti
PayPal:
Can't wait until our family picture has 4 little faces! Until then, thanks for reading and thanks so much for your love and support!!
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